I pray & meditate.  When I struggle over a situation, exchange or relationship, I give thanks for the strength, insight and courage to learn, heal, and grow. I also pray that if anyone is going through similar turmoil that they likewise be strengthened and guided, if it is the will of those involved. I somehow know that nothing trumps our free will.  We can destroy ourselves if we want to. I've come pretty close a few times. I know in the deepest part of me that this destructive urge is my ego's distorted will, not "Love's" will for my life (please feel free to substitute whatever name you want to call that power beyond description that most of us call "God").  I was praying for healing in my marriage. I pray that we could truly see the painful feelings triggered by our love as opportunities for growth, that through investigation and exploration will take us on an inward journey.
If a person has any unresolved issues (usually having to do with trust), then to love is painful. How come no one tells us that? Praying for my own marriage got me thinking about how wide spread the suffering from miscommunication in marriages and relationships in general must be. One look at the divorce rate in our country, U.S.A., makes it painfully obvious we aught to be training all our young people (and old people & everything in between too) and equipping them with the skills necessary to recognize and deal constructively with emotions, and to negotiate conflict of needs, again constructively.

Why have we been trained to sweep emotions under the rug? I do have a theory (what a surprise). What were the consequences of expressing too much emotion earlier in the century? What comes to mind are white straight jackets, mental institutions and frontal lobotomies. That's pretty scary and a good reason to fear expressing emotions. We never learned constructive ways to deal with our "feelings". Now, it seems we are swinging to the other extreme. People express emotions in violent, dangerous, anti-social ways with total disregard of those effected by the acting out. We need balance.

How critical to personal freedom, happiness and world peace are relationship and communication skills? When are these important skills going to be included in school curriculum in an integrated way?  Why are we still training students to be factory workers (with a worker bee curriculum) when the factories are disappearing like dinosaurs?  We need  to teach interpersonal skills, problem solving skills, skills needed for healthy, productive communications and relationships, don't you think?

So many of our institutions need revamping. It does sort of seem like too overwhelming a task, but again, the good news is we are only responsible for our part. What is my heart telling me I need to do? One heart, one mind, one soul at a time, we can change the world.