1. Know the difference between feelings and thoughts.  The differences can be subtle.  Learning the difference seems to be a skill as well as an art.
2. Take full responsibility for both.  This has helped me to understand how my thoughts actually create and feed certain emotions...probably all of them. 
3. Formula in a sentence (fill in the blanks)...  "I feel _____ because I am thinking______.", or "When I think thoughts like__________, I feel ___________. 

The key is to be responsible for the whole mess.  If someone tells me I'm a no good blankety-blank, to react or not to react, that is my decision.  My response, if I choose to have one, is totally up to me. I do not have to think "How could they say such a thing?".  In which, case, I might feel hurt or angry.  I could just as easily think "Humm...they called me a name, and it's not what I usually go by".

Two excellent books covering this very topic are Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" and Marshall Rosenberg's "Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Love".  Marshall Rosenberg is affiliated with a group that does work around the world regarding non-violent communication.  I think he founded it.  Don't quote me.  Look for yourself. His website is www.cnvc.org .  There is quite a bit of free helpful information on the site.

Okay, what triggered these thoughts was a wretched therapy session.  I was a mess, frightened, feeling desperate, and terribly sad.  Ah yes, dealing with one of my most miserable of attachments. 

I'm going to digress momentarily. I have worked with, and served thousands, maybe tens of thousands of people.  I love people.  My computer (mind) has gathered vast quantities of information about people.  I am one who looks inward.  I have gathered a vast amount of information about myself; I am a people (contrary to what some may think).  I love "God" with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind. I have access to a vast quantity of information through intuition. All that to say, I "see" things, or do I "feel" them?  It's loses something in trying to define it.  It's sort of a knowing. 

Back to the therapy. I was very upset when I left the therapy session, and was wrestling with awful feelings I didn't want to feel. But I know I have to face them head on if I am to learn the treasure they offer. When I got home, I sat quietly outside and made room to experience, listen and do my best to understand what was going on with me.

I have been a thinker my whole life.  It has served me well in many areas of my life.  My "Aha!" was "I can see the energy and not think anything about it."  It is both the analyzing and the trying to express what I "see" or  "know" (intuit) that causes my soul to suffer.  Why think anything?  Why not just experience and leave it at that? That may seem too simple or common sense to you, but to me, it's a new and very freeing thought. Now, can I really do it? I certainly can decide to move in that direction, and give thanks to the "Universe", the Divine, God for continuing to guide me in the way of love and wisdom.  Observe instead of anaylyzing, sounds peaceful.