Raising the Bar
Competition? It's not really "my cup of tea". I do not even like to compete with myself. I prefer to think of raising the bar like awakening more to the best that is in me, then, I am in a better position to see the best in others as well. I constantly ask the Power/Source (call it what you will), "God", for guidance to be a more compassionate human being. I don't like the feeling or side effects that come with most (not all) competitive situations. I much prefer cooperation. I refuse to be harsh with myself. It doesn't help; it hurts. I have learned to be okay with mistakes, and actually see them as opportunities for growth.
Raising the Bar is more about encouraging myself to change. I write down personal goals as needed, sometimes regularly, sometimes the more challenging ones take longer. Some of my more deeply rooted negative habits have taken long periods of time to heal. Sometimes, it seemed like I was never going to get better. It was not uncommon for me to struggle with myself about wanting to give up; I won't. I hang on, and hang in, until something clicks, the light bulb comes on. I feel more centered in myself, and love. I have learned to love the process. At least once a year, I try to review and rewrite my "goals". I have quite a collection in a binder, so I can remind myself how far I've come when/if I get discouraged.
Back to "Raising the Bar", I went to a conference in Las Vegas, called The "I Can Do It" Conference. I guess they are held year round in different locations. It was pretty great. After taking as much of it in as I could and digesting the information, I wrote a few new "goals. They are as follows.
1. Catch myself interfering
2. Catch myself judging
3. Not be agitated by ridicule
4. Love no matter what is coming my way, even hate
5. Catch myself wishing, wanting, desiring things to be different than what they are and choose to accept what is.
6. Listen to "God"...ask "what to say" in sticky situations...listen...say what is to be said ... nothing more, nothing less ...in other words ... no pushing my agenda. ( It was hard for me to see that about myself. Now that I do, I am determined to let it go.)
That's how I intend to "Raise the Bar". The other day, I actually for a brief moment in time experienced what it felt like to not react and choose to love when someone I cared about was acting like they detested me. I was thankful for the opportunity to practice and move one step closer to learning a not so easy principle to comprehend fully. I've read it's possible. I read Jesus said,"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that spitefully use and persecute you". In so doing, we show ourselves to be children of "God" who loves all without condition. There have been examples of folks who have tapped into this compassion which I believe is available to us all. Who is up for the challenge?
Definition of Competition: Out of the pages of Webster's Dictionary comes the following, "Competition is the act of competing". Also, "To compete implies having a sense of rivalry and of striving to do one's best as well as to out do another...to contend with another for acknowledgment, a prize, supremacy, profit, etc.". I had to look it up because sometimes I use a word or think of it a certain way for a long time and come to find out it really didn't mean what I thought it did. That is not the case here.
My theory about how we become so "messed up": We are born love. It's who we are. Through the experience of separation we come to know pain. The severity of the pain depends on the severity of the situation, and the sensitivity of the person. When we are little, very few of us have the information, wisdom, or capacity to understand what is happening to us. So, on some pre-verbal level we begin to formulate our own theory that there must be something terribly wrong with us to feel so awful and abandoned. Although, at the time it probably feels to us simply like we are dying. Well, a part of us is, as our innocent, trusting, blissful self begins to shut down to protect ourselves from suffering and pain. We shut down because we are afraid, and we don't know any better. The shutting down protects us in the short term. We practice and practice years and years of these defensive patterns of thought and behavior. At some point, on some level, we realize we something is terribly wrong. At first, we may think it is out there. But if we honestly, courageously look inward, we realize these well established thoughts, defense mechanisms, perpetuate the patterns that are now causing the pain we were trying to escape. We want to be different, but how many years have we been practicing the ineffective, unhealthy, perhaps destructive thought and habit patterns, 10,20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, or more years? We are all different. The direction of our lives can change in an instant with a decision. It is ever our choice what kind of life we will choose to live, now, and now again, and now again. We are not victim's, once we reach a certain level of awareness. We are the directors of our own destiny. Patient-endurance is written about in many of the sacred books. Once we choose to set foot on the path to "enlightenment" or "becoming a better person" or what ever we want to call it, we will develop patience, if we are committed to our decision. There's no telling how long it will take to undo, heal, learn new ways of being. It's worth it. I was so miserable, such a mess, on such a self-destructive path, this was the only direction that made any sense to me.
Raising the Bar is more about encouraging myself to change. I write down personal goals as needed, sometimes regularly, sometimes the more challenging ones take longer. Some of my more deeply rooted negative habits have taken long periods of time to heal. Sometimes, it seemed like I was never going to get better. It was not uncommon for me to struggle with myself about wanting to give up; I won't. I hang on, and hang in, until something clicks, the light bulb comes on. I feel more centered in myself, and love. I have learned to love the process. At least once a year, I try to review and rewrite my "goals". I have quite a collection in a binder, so I can remind myself how far I've come when/if I get discouraged.
Back to "Raising the Bar", I went to a conference in Las Vegas, called The "I Can Do It" Conference. I guess they are held year round in different locations. It was pretty great. After taking as much of it in as I could and digesting the information, I wrote a few new "goals. They are as follows.
1. Catch myself interfering
2. Catch myself judging
3. Not be agitated by ridicule
4. Love no matter what is coming my way, even hate
5. Catch myself wishing, wanting, desiring things to be different than what they are and choose to accept what is.
6. Listen to "God"...ask "what to say" in sticky situations...listen...say what is to be said ... nothing more, nothing less ...in other words ... no pushing my agenda. ( It was hard for me to see that about myself. Now that I do, I am determined to let it go.)
That's how I intend to "Raise the Bar". The other day, I actually for a brief moment in time experienced what it felt like to not react and choose to love when someone I cared about was acting like they detested me. I was thankful for the opportunity to practice and move one step closer to learning a not so easy principle to comprehend fully. I've read it's possible. I read Jesus said,"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that spitefully use and persecute you". In so doing, we show ourselves to be children of "God" who loves all without condition. There have been examples of folks who have tapped into this compassion which I believe is available to us all. Who is up for the challenge?
Definition of Competition: Out of the pages of Webster's Dictionary comes the following, "Competition is the act of competing". Also, "To compete implies having a sense of rivalry and of striving to do one's best as well as to out do another...to contend with another for acknowledgment, a prize, supremacy, profit, etc.". I had to look it up because sometimes I use a word or think of it a certain way for a long time and come to find out it really didn't mean what I thought it did. That is not the case here.
My theory about how we become so "messed up": We are born love. It's who we are. Through the experience of separation we come to know pain. The severity of the pain depends on the severity of the situation, and the sensitivity of the person. When we are little, very few of us have the information, wisdom, or capacity to understand what is happening to us. So, on some pre-verbal level we begin to formulate our own theory that there must be something terribly wrong with us to feel so awful and abandoned. Although, at the time it probably feels to us simply like we are dying. Well, a part of us is, as our innocent, trusting, blissful self begins to shut down to protect ourselves from suffering and pain. We shut down because we are afraid, and we don't know any better. The shutting down protects us in the short term. We practice and practice years and years of these defensive patterns of thought and behavior. At some point, on some level, we realize we something is terribly wrong. At first, we may think it is out there. But if we honestly, courageously look inward, we realize these well established thoughts, defense mechanisms, perpetuate the patterns that are now causing the pain we were trying to escape. We want to be different, but how many years have we been practicing the ineffective, unhealthy, perhaps destructive thought and habit patterns, 10,20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, or more years? We are all different. The direction of our lives can change in an instant with a decision. It is ever our choice what kind of life we will choose to live, now, and now again, and now again. We are not victim's, once we reach a certain level of awareness. We are the directors of our own destiny. Patient-endurance is written about in many of the sacred books. Once we choose to set foot on the path to "enlightenment" or "becoming a better person" or what ever we want to call it, we will develop patience, if we are committed to our decision. There's no telling how long it will take to undo, heal, learn new ways of being. It's worth it. I was so miserable, such a mess, on such a self-destructive path, this was the only direction that made any sense to me.
Comments